THIS IS ME, FRANCOISE

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Dating Apps and me in NYC

These days in NYC, dating apps and websites are the ways for people to meet and connect either romantically, or platonically. People that otherwise would never have had the chance to be introduced to each other, now have that chance, without a third part even being needed. 

            Everyone is out there fighting for their own romantic lives.

            I’ve tried my hand at all of the dating apps and sites since moving to NYC in 2006. Only until recently have I not been deep in the throws of my own recovery, so over all these years I haven’t had much luck with dating. I sit here today, though, as a single woman who would, above all else, love to meet someone the old-fashioned way. 

            Drunk at a bar

            Just kidding.

             I would hope to just meet someone in person, whether that would be outside on the street, or by being set up by friends. Meeting for the first time face-to-face is an ideal first introduction, but these dating apps and sites are necessary, and close, seconds.

            Actually, I once had a Match.com date explain to me how he prefers this online method of meeting because instantly, even before meeting, major concerns are addressed. The answers achieved online become the determining factors to pursuing further engagement. Some preemptively answered questions are the following: Does the prospective date want or already have kids, does the date’s profession and/or exercise routine jive with mine, and am I fond of the date’s appearance?

            I’ve been doing a lot less online dating since moving downtown. Lacking the eagerness to find matches anywhere away from my own backyard, I know I want to remain right where I am. Only wanting to meet someone very close by, I figure I’m no longer in search of a partner who lives in a different, more ideal area.

            I am the ideal area.

            In addition to neighborhoods, the chilly and rainy weather outside this spring has contributed to my desire to remain inside. Consequently, I’ve been spending more time than ever indoors, swiping both left and right the entire time. So, although I’m not “dating” so much, I am still “looking.” 

            Looking is fun, and hey, I’m bored.

            Any appealing guy should, and will, have to come to me. No questions asked.

As this is the case, I’ve come upon several overused Tinder and Bumble lines that I’ve grown to abhor and find completely unoriginal.

            Occasionally, I’ll spy the funny or clever quip but most oftentimes I see the witless profile lines over and over again. 

            I’m forced to wonder, are there male think tanks out there that come up with these trite key phrases that (unsuccessfully) distinguish one guy from another?

            If these “committees of experts” do exist, they’re doing a disservice to the male gender. 

            Every profile is the same.

            Because the profile sections leave only small spaces to fill with original copy, identical phrases and topics are brought up again and again. I’m sure this problem also exists for men looking at female profiles, but male profiles are all that I’m privy to.

Moral of the (dating app) story: 

         We just need to get out more and meet people IRL. And hey, remember it’s getting to be summertime. Just get out there and have fun. And who knows - maybe the fun will develop into a relationship?